I am unsure of where to begin when discussing a film of this quality. Do I begin where the movie did? Do I rant the entire time in hoping you understand how I feel? Or do I just list off every crime, sin, immoral act, wrongdoing, and misdeed that Michael Bay includes in this epic failure of a major motion picture known as "Transformers: The Last Knight"? To be honest, I might just ramble and try and assemble my thoughts in a clear and concise manner, or maybe my heated skull will be cooled off by the time this review ends. You'd think that five films into this franchise Michael Bay would introduce new tactics, camerawork, editing techniques, or even inspire the writers to make some changes to the script considering it is essentially HIS film. Instead of changing up the franchise and injecting some sort of franchise enhancing mechanics, he utilizes every Michael Bay tactic and rule in the book to deliver another overblown Transformers film. Except this time, he delivers his worst effort yet. An effort so lethargic, it's impossible to wrap my head around the fact that he is getting paid millions for this project. The previous entry, "Age of Extinction", was practically a spoof of every negative aspect of Michael Bay's techniques. "The Last Knight" on the other hand, is practically a knock-off version of Michael Bay's Transformers franchise. With a whopping six credited writers and editors behind constructing "Transformers: The Last Knight's" narrative, it's easy to point our fingers to the issue. Then again, it's the studio who owns the film that even allowed this project to exist and be conceived in the way that it was. Paramount Studios channeled their inner Nick Fury and attempted to assemble a "think-tank" and writer's room to deliver the best Transformers film yet. I'd like to say that Paramount ditched ideas and concepts initially conceived in that legendary room, but the movie practically tells us that this script is all first draft writing. No wait, not first draft writing, just the outline, maybe not even that, maybe just everyone's thoughts of what a Transformers film *should* be and then smushed together. There is no failed execution of the script here, a-la The Star Wars Prequel trilogy, it's simply a failed project from the beginning. There is an incomprehensible plot with zero narrative strings intertwining throughout the entire run-time of an overlong two hours and 30 minutes. If someone asked me to give them a quick synopsis of "The Last Knight" I would fail miserably because you can't do it. Even if you read the synopsis you would have no semblance of what Michael Bay, Paramount, and these writers were trying to accomplish. It's a movie that feels like it was crafted by a group of little boys playing with their Transformers toys in their backyard trying to create a cool story surrounding them. One wanted Nazis, one wanted King Arthur, one wanted a cool hero with big muscles, one wanted a hot chick from another country, the other wanted a planet engulfing other planets, and the list goes on and on. It's an unrestrained two and a half hour cataclysmic Summer blockbuster event of the century. An experience so baffling that you will spend more time burying your head in your hands, shaking your head, or writhing in your seat than basking in the beautiful imagery that Bay captures or the dazzling visual effects that inhabit almost every shot. By the time the movie enters the Optimus Prime "epilogue" phase you'd think that the end of the Transformers in cineplexes around the globe would be coming to a close. As the film begins to end, Bay drops a nice shiny penny with the head side up right in front of us. As we reach down with a smile on our face because of the luck that penny brings, we notice something wrong with the penny. We inspect it closer and see Michael Bay's face on the penny and he winks at us with a sardonic grin on his face. In that horrifying moment we were just guaranteed death, taxes, and less than half-assed Michael Bay Transformer films whether we like it or not. "Transformers: The Last Knight" gets an 8/100